messed.up.

I’m having a fucking horrible year. I hate life right now. I seem to be failing at everything.

you know -

- if you were to look at me you would see this massive giant with glasses (a nerdy giant) who looks like if i hit someone i would send them fly

- if you were however, to look inside my exterior you would see this emotional and mentally destroyed woman - you would never even consider what i might have been through or what i possibly might be going through at that one moment when you are taking in all you can assume from face value

- if you were to see me at work you would never think that i have an unhappy home life or that i am really struggling mentally and emotionally to keep my two feet on the ground

- you see the thing is, i have learnt and mastered the skill of pretending, i can pretend to be happy even when inside im crying

- no one truly knows who you are..

FUCK

SO angry

SO upset

SO disappointed

SO annoyed

SO OVER IT

things just dont ever seem to work out how i want or need them to
i want my boyfriend home immediately
i am sick and tired of coming home to an empty bed
i am sick and tired of not being able to talk to him about the things i need to talk to him about
i am sick and tired of not being able to talk to him when i need him the most

I am NEVER letting him go away for 2 months ever again